The Racing Pigeons Want A Piece Of Jimmie
New Zealanders eat pies. That’s just as much of a fact as pigeons can fly, libraries contain books and American Football is not a real sport (try rugby, you twats).
Because of this, you can get pies almost everywhere. There are white spots on the map of New Zealand that yet have to be introduced to a sewage system, streaming water, or basic principles such as suffrage and calculus, but a local pie can be bought and consumed anywhere.
Now, to clear up some confusion: a pie and a pie are two different things. When Europeans think of a pie, they generally think of a sweet pie that has a soft-ish, buttery dough as basis and all kinds of sweetened things (chocolate, lemon, eggwhite, sugared fruits, cream, etc etc) at the centre.
English New Zealand pies, however, are nothing like that. These pies are small (fit in the palm of your hand), have a sturdier, less buttery dough all around, and are filled with a meat-based substance. Always a meat based substance. If it doesn’t have a meat based substance it’s not a pie. A pie without a meat based substance might have a label that says “pie”, but that’s only because having the same argument with those vegan-vegetarian vegemites over and over again is so tiresome. It’s not a pie.
There are some big pie manufacturing such as Irvines or Mrs Mac. You typically buy these pies in a sixpack at the supermarket. Whilst these pies aren’t too bad, they are mass produced and thus – logically – show that they lack a bit of that extra special care and attention they can only get when baked in a local, small scale bakery.
And those small scale bakeries, there are plenty around. From time to time, these smaller scale pie bakers engage each other in one of the plentiful pie contests to settle once and for all whose pies are bigger, better, tastier, crunchier, fresher, and so on, and so on. There are almost as many pie contests as there are pies, so there is a very fair chance that that cute little bakery you randomly selected has won a couple of awards of some form.
My personal favourite pie is the mutton (mutton are old sheep, if they had been human we’d call them spinsters) pie from Baketime in the Kaikorai Valley in Dunedin.
However, the other day the Racing Pigeons had the opportunity to sink their beaks into an award winning pie from Jimmy in Ettrick. I have no idea what award Jimmy has won, nor do I care. What I do care about is the fact that Jimmy makes a mighty fine pie. And he’s a cat lover too ^^